Trina and Netty

August 23, 2007

My daughter Demi designed a webpage for me a few days ago. It was a wonderful surprise. I was really thrilled and excited as I admired the layout of my blog. I emailed Demi right away and thanked her. “Ay, ang galing-galing talaga ng anak ko!” I told Butch. Butch, my husband, looked over my shoulder and said, “Now you can write your stories and adventures.” 

Today I will write about Trina and Netty—Trina the devoted daughter and Netty her mother who’s grappling with cancer. Netty and I were high school classmates and chums back in the late ‘60s. We shared four wonderful and fun-filled years at UP High School in Diliman. I remember Netty as a very pretty girl, who would fix her hair in a ponytail or in pigtails. She had an almost perfect oval face, big beautiful eyes, and a set of perfect teeth. She’s still pretty despite her illness. Netty was working in the US when the cancer came back. She decided to come home so that she could be taken care of by Trina and husband Ernie.

Trina is Netty’s eldest child. Her youngest is a boy who is fondly called EJ. I remember them as young tykes running around the neighborhood and Netty shouting to them to be home in time for lunch. The children would look back to their Ma and say “Opo, opo,” and then run back to their playmates, laughing. 

Trina and EJ are grown now. Ej is a musician in California and Trina is a freelance make-up arist. It was Trina who brought her Ma from the US back to Manila. Netty was very weak then. But miracle of miracles! Netty got stronger a few months later and we, her middle-aged gang, took her out to dinner to celebrate her birthday. That was in February of this year. (That's Netty in the middle, in the picture above.)

At the moment Netty is in a special clinic undergoing treatment based on herbs and plants. It is far but Trina is there with Netty, attending to her Ma’s needs.I could not help but notice the tenderness and loving care Trina would give her mother whenever my friends and I visit Netty. I’ve never seen Trina sad or grumpy despite the fact that she’s tired from work and lacked sleep watching over her mother, consoling her father, buying her medicines and other chores.

Whether Netty is in the hospital or at home, Trina would just go about as if everything were normal. She would tell Netty stories and would make her laugh. Every once in a while she would adjust the pillows that support the right arm of Netty that had become painful to move. She reminds Rhea, Netty’s yaya, to check on things while she’s away working. She’s like sunlight. She’s a whiff of fresh air and she’s a gentle song that soothes her mother’s pain. I would gaze at this young woman who was only a child the last time I saw her. Netty raised her well. She must be very proud of Trina. Will I experience that same joy and pride?

I gaze at Trina and I think of my own daughter so far away from me and Butch. Demi got married in April to Jerry, a very loving man who makes Demi laugh a lot. We chat almost everyday. It’s as if she were only nearby. Trina sends text messages to Glo and me everyday, we who are the closest pals of her mom. She gives us updates which we share with Mich, Babes, Tess, Lyn and Steny—the gang or the “Med Squad” of our high school batch (UP High ‘67).

I know Trina is tired but she will not buckle down because her Ma needs her strength and support. I know that behind her sweet smile is a certain fear. But Trina will not allow this fear to affect her because her faith in God is strong. It sustains her. Trina reminds me of my own daughter in many ways. They are strong yet gentle, sensitive, intuitive and tender. Will I be even better when Mama gets sick? 

PS / August 25, 2007

Netty passed away at 7:00 am. Trina was on her way to Tarlac with some needed funds. I was in a taxi on my way to work when I learned of my friend’s death. I said a prayer and a farewell to Netty and let the tears fall quietly.